Honestly, from a personal point of view, just work, do your thing, keep pushing forward, life can be a bitch sometimes, I lost my father when i was 14 and yeah, it sucks, but just keep your head held high, don't put yourself down. As for this post, i wouldn't recommend posting anything about your life on the forums because 99% of roat is mentally incapable of even attaining a job irl that they'll just bash you and flame you for whatever you've gone through. focus on your life irl, find friends that you can relate to, join support groups if you need to, there are also forums in which people will help you if needed, there's online therapists. DO NOT use roat as a means to seek help or attention (if that is the case). People on here are either 25 with the mentality of 12 year olds or are just completely retarded.